The 5 Virtues of Masculinity
“Masculinity is not something given to you, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles with honor” -Norman Mailer-
Growing up I was always a fan of Benjamin Franklin, I remember reading about the (read about them in how they relate to success here) →13 Virtues and how impactful that has been in my life. As I got older I found myself asking, “what does it mean to be a man”? Since then I have read many books on masculinity, on what it means to be a man, not only, as Jack Donovan puts it, being a good man but being good at being a man. As I researched this topic, I found the waters of masculinity muddied by popular media, everything from TV to video games. Yesterday’s ideas of masculinity are outdated and considered toxic so I decided to create my own virtues that could help me propel a modern idea of masculinity in to the new age. I spoke about this briefly in my last article but I wanted to delve deeper into the virtues and how they factor into modern-day life.
The Five Virtues of Masculinity in 2020
1.Strength: To have strength in our current times means more than just being physically strong, it means having emotional strength too. It means being able to be vulnerable but also composed and in control. Our current state of affairs in the world is tumultuous and for me strength means being able to be a good patriarch for your family, letting them know that things are going to be okay. Having the fortitude to do what you need to do to continue to provide for your family, financially, emotionally, and spiritually. While strength is certainly not a virtue limited to men, I feel as a father and husband this virtue is a pillar of my masculinity as it relates to my family and community.
You have power over your mind- not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength -Marcus Aurelius-
2.Discipline: Having discipline means being able to sacrifice small things that you want now to get more important things that you want later. Being able to have control over your actions is crucial in achieving your goals. It is the key to unlocking the potential of the body and the mind. Study when you don’t want to, exercise when you feel lazy. To have the freedom to choose and not be controlled by your every desire that is discipline.
“There is no magic wand that can resolve our problems. The solution rests with our work and discipline” -Jose Eduardo dos Santos-
3.Honor: To be an honorable man in 2020 means being a man of your word, it means owning up to your mistakes and doing the right thing. It means treating your family with respect and showing them that they are valued. In the workplace it means being someone people can count on, someone that they know will have their back and get the work done properly. Having honor is standing up for those less fortunate than yourself and not blasting it all over social media when you do that good deed.
The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be -Socrates-
4.Courage: Courage takes different forms, it can mean risking your life, it can mean risking your reputation or risking embarrassment. For me, courage is the knowledge that you have something important on the line for a greater good. It takes a lot of courage to be a man of principle and stand up for what you believe in, it also takes a lot of courage to admit that your beliefs can be wrong. When presented with information that challenges our paradigm, we as men need to drop the ego and be willing to have the intellectual dexterity to having our minds changed.
Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision -Sir Winston Churchill-
5.Integrity: Integrity is something I feel is missing from large swaths of people in the public eye. Integrity means doing the right thing, even when no one is looking. Maintaining our standards that we set for ourselves even when it is not convient. It's about not going with the crowd when the crowd is going the wrong direction. To have integrity in our day to day interactions is priceless, with integrity you earn respect, with integrity you build character. Integrity is being consistent in the way you treat people.
Passing On These Virtues
In order for us to affect change in our world, we must set an example for our young men, we must demonstrate to them that living by a code in how we interact with the world is important. Teach them that they have the power to turn this around and to be the change they seek. I write on masculinity because as a man, I hate to see what a negative connotation it has these days. I feel that we can help change that. We can help show the world that true masculinity is not toxic, true masculinity is therapeutic. True masculinity stirs the soul, softens the heart, and empowers the people.
There is no greater honor for me than being a virtuous father to my son, and having the opportunity to help him lead the next generation of men to be better than the world gave them the chance to be.
